When can you just stop it? Just stop the feelings, stop the thoughts, stop everything. Thats all I want. I cant understand how this has happened to me. Im consumed by one person and they dont even care..or care to know it. Im so miserable. How can one person make it all okay? All the loose ends and wrongs in your life...how can one person turn it all around and make you feel like you are headed in the right direction?
I guess it all stems from the fact that I am deathly afraid to be alone. I cant help but wonder why bad people happen to genuinely good people.
I feel like I am trying to get my life headed in the right direction and there is something...moreso someone constantly holding me back. I cant get myself on track. I try to let him know that he is so important to me and how any girl around him is so lucky to have a chance. Because thats just it. I dont have a chance. There is no way that he would ever love me. And more than anything, that hurts because its like waking up constantly knowing that the one you would die for would just keep on living. Its a horrible feeling. I have to turn down countless oppurtunities because im still wishing that fate will push us together. But then again, what the hell is fate?
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